What makes a great parent?
A good parent is someone who strives to make decisions in the most effective interest of the child.
What can make a great parent isn't just defined by the parent 's actions, but additionally their intention.
A great parent doesn't need to be perfect. No one is perfect. No kid is perfect either … keeping this in your mind is important when we set our expectations.
Profitable parenting is not about achieving perfection. Though it doesn't imply that we should not work towards that goal. Set very high standards for ourselves first and then the children of ours next. We serve as role models that are important for them.
Top Ten Parenting Tips
The following are 10 suggestions that can help you be a better parent, learn great parenting skills, and stay away from bad parenting.
Some aren't simple or fast.
And probably nobody can do them constantly.
Although you may not necessarily do all of these things, however, the tips in this parenting guide can help you move in the right direction.
#1 BE A good Role MODEL
Walk the walk. Don't just tell your child what you wish them to do.
The most effective way to teach is showing them.
Human is an unique species in part since we are able to learn by imitation. We're programmed to imitate others' actions, comprehend them, and integrate them into our own. Children, in particular, watch everything their parents do very carefully.
Thus, function as the individual you want the child of yours to be - respect your kid, demonstrate to them good attitude and behavior, have empathy towards your child's emotion - and your kid will follow suit.
#2: Love THEM And Show Through ACTION
Demonstrate your love.
There is no such thing as loving your child a lot of. To love them cannot spoil them.
Only what you choose to do (or give) in the title of love may - things as material indulgence, leniency, low expectation, and over-protection. When these things are provided in place of love that is real, that's when you'll have a spoiled kid.
To love your child can be as simple as offering them hugs, spending quality time with them, having family meals together, and also listening to your child's problems seriously.
Showing these actions of love is able to trigger the release of feel-good hormones like oxytocin. These neurochemicals can bring us a full feeling of contentment, emotional warmth, and calm; from these, the child, will acquire resilience and also not to mention a closer connection with you.
#3: Practice Kind And Firm POSITIVE PARENTING
Infants are born with around 100 billion brain cells (neurons) with comparatively few connections. These connections create the thoughts of ours, drive our actions, shape our personalities, and essentially determine who we are. They are "sculpted", strengthened, and created through life experiences.
Give the child of yours positive family interaction, especially in the beginning years. They will then be equipped to experience positive experiences themselves and provide them to others.
But if you give your child bad experiences, they won't have the development type necessary for them to thrive.
Sing that silly song. Use a tickle marathon. Go to the park. Laugh with the child of yours. Give them good attention. Ride with an emotional tantrum with them. Solve a problem together with an optimistic attitude.
These positive experiences produce good neural connections into your child's brain and form the memories of you your child carries for life.
With regards to discipline, it appears to be hard to remain positive, especially when dealing with behavior issues. But it is possible by utilizing positive discipline and avoiding harsh discipline.
Being a great parent means you need to teach your child the morals of what's right and what is wrong.
Setting limits and being constant is the golden rule to discipline that is good. Be firm and kind whenever you set rules and implement them. Focus on the reason for the child's misbehavior. And allow it to be an opportunity for them to find out for the future in a positive manner, rather than to get penalized for the past.
#4: Be a Safe HAVEN FOR YOUR CHILD
Let the child of yours know that you'll remain there for them if it is responsive to your child's signals and sensitive to their needs. Support and accept the child of yours as an individual. Be a warm and safe place for the child of yours to explore from and go back to.
Children raised by parents who are constantly responsive have better emotional regulation development, interpersonal skills development, along with mental health outcomes.
#5: Talk with YOUR CHILD And Help THEIR BRAINS INTEGRATE
Many of us already know the value of communication. Talk to your child and also listen to them carefully. By maintaining an open line of communication, you'll have a better connection with the child of yours as well as your child will come to you when there's an issue.
But there is an additional reason for communication. You help your child integrate different parts of the brain of theirs, a crucial process in a kid's development.
Integration is akin to our body, in which different organs must coordinate and work together to maintain a healthy body. When different parts of the brain are integrated, they can function harmoniously as a whole, which means fewer tantrums, much more good behavior, much more empathy, and much better psychological well-being.
To accomplish that, conversation through troubling experiences. Ask your child to describe what happened and how they felt developing attuned communication.
You don't have to offer solutions. You do not have to have all of the answers to become a good parent. Just listening to them talk. Ask clarifying questions using simple words will help them make sense of their experiences and integrate their memories.
#6: Reflect on Your own CHILDHOOD
Many of us wish to parent differently from the parents of ours. Even people who had an excellent upbringing and a thankful childhood may want to change several elements of the way they were brought up.
But very often, when we open the mouths of ours, we speak the same as the own parents of ours did.
Reflecting on our own childhood is a step towards understanding the reason we parent how we do. Make note of things you'd like to change and think of just how you would do it differently in a real scenario. Attempt to be aware and change your behavior the next time those issues come up.
Do not give up if you do not succeed in the beginning. It takes practice, a lot of practice to consciously alter one 's child-rearing methods.
#7: Pay attention to Your personal WELL-BEING
Parents need relief also.
Give consideration to your own well-being to prevent parental burnout.
Oftentimes, things including your own needs or maybe the overall health of your marriage are kept on the back burner when a kid is born. If you don't take note of them, they will become bigger issues down the road. Take time to enhance the relationship of yours with your spouse.
Stressed-out parents tend to be more prone to fighting. Do not be afraid to ask for parenting assistance. Having some "me time" for self care and stress management is important to revitalize the mind.
How parents take proper care of their child physically and mentally can make a big difference in the parenting of theirs and family life. If these two areas fail, the child of yours will suffer, also.
#8: Do not SPANK, NO MATTER WHAT
No doubt, to some parents, spanking is able to bring about short-term compliance which occasionally is a much-needed help for the parents.
However, this method does not teach the child right from wrong. It only teaches the kid to fear external consequences. The kid is then motivated to avoid getting caught with behavior that is inappropriate.
Spanking your child is modeling to the kid that he/she can resolve issues by violence. A child who's spanked, smacked, or maybe hit is more vulnerable to fighting with other children. They are much more likely to become bullies and also to use verbal/physical aggression to resolve disputes.
Later in daily life, they're also far more likely to result in delinquency and oppositional behavior, worse parent-child human relationships, mental health issues, along with domestic violence victims or even abusers.
There are an assortment of more effective alternatives to discipline that have been shown to be much more effective, like positive discipline (Tip #3 above positive reinforcement and).
#9: Keep Things In Perspective And remember YOUR PARENTING GOAL
What's the goal of yours in increasing a child?
If you're like the majority of parents, you would like the child of yours to excel in school, be productive, be independent and responsible, be respectful, enjoy good associations with you and others, be caring and compassionate, and have a happy, healthy and fulfilling life.
Though just how much time do you spend working towards those goals?
When you're like most parents, you probably spend most of the time just trying to get through the day. As authors, Siegel and Bryson, point out in the book of theirs, The Whole Brain kid, rather than helping your kid thrive, spent most of time simply attempting to survive!
To not allow the survival mode dominate the life of yours, the next time you're feeling frustrated or angry, step back. Consider what frustration and anger can do for you or the child of yours.
Rather, look for ways to switch every negative experience into a learning opportunity for them. Even epic tantrums can be turned into invaluable brain-sculpting moments if you concentrate on teaching the child of yours, not attempting to control them.
#10: Take a SHORTCUT By utilizing Findings In Latest PSYCHOLOGY And NEUROSCIENCE RESEARCH
By shortcuts, I don't mean shortchanging your child with tricks. What I mean is to take advantage of what's currently known by scientists.
To parent is among the most researched fields in psychology. Many parenting techniques, practices, or traditions have been scientifically researched, refined, verified, or refuted.
For optimum parenting advice for raising a child and information which are supported by science, here is one of my favorite science based parenting guides, The Science of Parenting.
Making use of scientific knowledge is of course not a one-size-fits-all approach. Every kid is different. Even within the very best parenting style, there are able to be many different effective parenting methods you could choose according to your child's temperament.
A good example is employing spanking to discipline. You will find many better alternatives, e.g. redirection, reasoning, time-in, etc. You are able to choose a non punitive discipline method that works ideal for the child of yours.
Of course, you can additionally choose to utilize "traditional" or maybe "old school" parenting styles (e.g. punishing or spanking) and also might still buy a "similar" outcome.
Differential susceptibility has found us that children with different temperaments respond to the quality of parenting differently.
Those who are more susceptible to parenting quality is going to have better outcomes under great parenting but worse outcomes under poor parenting.
Those people who are less prone may "turn out fine" no matter how strong their parents treat them. But it does not mean those practices are great. These children are simply fortunate. They can thrive despite poor parenting, not because of it.
Why take a possibility with sub-par parenting practices if you can use well-researched, better ones?
The importance of parenting cannot be underestimated. Taking science-based parental advice might not be the easiest way to parent. It might require more work on your part in the temporary but can save you lots of agony and time in the long run.
Final Thoughts On Parenting
The great thing is, that although parenting is difficult, it is additionally very rewarding. Parentinghowto The bad part is the rewards typically come much later than the effort. But if we try our best today, we'll eventually reap the rewards and also have nothing to regret.
To Happy Parenting!